10 years ago...

So, I was flipping through my address book this afternoon, and I came across this on the inside cover...

Needless to say, this is from a different time in my life. In the Spring of 2001 I was fifteen years old and a freshman in high school. I hung out with a "rough" group of proudly rebellious, delinquent, and really stupid teenagers (not stupid people, just a "phase" I like to think at least).

We enjoyed popular past times like smoking pot by the creek and hanging out at the elementary school and drinking Natural Ice until we got sick or got lucky. We pretty much always just got sick, which was probably for the best anyway...

My hormones were through the roof, and I really referred to women as "chicks". I really wanted to be cool, and I thought the way to do it was to be a tough guy and hook up with lots of "chicks".

Now it's ten years later, and my life is a little bit different. I just finished drinking a cup of tea and I'm listening to Joni Mitchell in my house in the Oregon countryside. I consider myself a feminist. My views on my own masculinity and my place in the world have changed so radically that it's hard to believe that I'm still in the same body. And yet, to deny or forget my fifteen year-old self would be dishonest. In many ways, those experiences still shape and influence who I am today. I've changed a lot, but I am still me. The ghosts of my past still linger inside me, and I don't think they're going anywhere anytime soon. Rather than deny my past, I think it's important to continue to be honest with myself about the work I still need to do. While I am much more respectful of women than I once was, I am not always cognizant of how my actions effect those I care about.

It's incredible to think how much has happened between 15 and 25. I'm really excited for all of the adventures, mistakes, lessons, love, and the rest of it that's coming in these next ten years. Life is a wonderful experiment, and I'm a mad scientist!

In reflecting upon life and time, I also have a newfound respect for my elders. It's hard to fathom how much life they have lived. So here's to learning and loving and continuing on the best we know how.